Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of hearing thousands of stories – from nonprofit leaders to small business owners to grad students to entrepreneurs. These are different people, different paths, but always familiar themes.
The most honest conversations usually came when their guard was down—when someone finally said, “Can I tell you what’s really going on?” I never saw myself as a great listener or someone with all the answers. But maybe, just maybe, people opened up because they sensed I’d been there too. There’s a quiet kind of trust that forms when two people have shared the same highs and lows. A knowing.
What I’ve learned is this: my story is often your story – and vice versa.
Instead of writing another boring business book (you know the kind), I’ve been working on something different. It’s a storytelling project that pulls together these common struggles and breakthroughs in a way that I hope can connect at an emotional, heart level—because that’s where real change begins.
Today, I want to share a moment that I know many of you have lived through – the gut-check realization that your job or business or leadership role doesn’t just demand your time…it owns you. And no amount of “working harder” will fix it.
The Trap – When You Recognize That Your Business Owns You
The front door clicked shut behind him. The house was dark except for the glow of the TV flickering across the living room walls. Alex sighed, rolling his shoulders, trying to shake off the exhaustion from yet another sixteen-hour day. He dropped his laptop bag by the entryway and loosened his shirt – he couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually sat down for dinner with his family, let alone had the energy for conversation.
A small voice inside him told him to brace himself.
Emily was waiting.
She sat at the kitchen table, arms crossed, her fingers tracing slow circles on the wood grain. She wasn’t watching him; her eyes were fixed on the wall across the room.
Alex followed her gaze.
His daughter, Maddie, was curled up under a throw blanket, still in her school theater costume. A program, printed in bold, decorative font, sat on the coffee table beside her: “Grease the Musical,” with today’s date and the time of 7:00 p.m.
Alex’s stomach tightened.
Emily finally looked up, her voice quiet, measured. “We saved you a seat, you know.”
A heavy silence filled the room.
Alex stepped forward, rubbing his face with both hands. “Em, I…”
“She kept looking for you in the crowd.” Her voice caught, but she swallowed hard, keeping it steady. “Every time the doors opened, she thought maybe you made it.”
Alex felt something sink in his chest, something deeper than guilt.
“She nailed her lines,” Emily continued, her tone sharper now. “She was amazing. Confident. So proud. And then the curtain call came, and she was scanning the audience, smiling at every face except the one that wasn’t there.”
Alex exhaled slowly. He had been in the middle of putting out yet another fire, one of their biggest clients had threatened to pull their contract unless he personally stepped in to fix a last-minute issue. At the time, it felt like an emergency. It felt like something that had to be handled immediately.
But now, standing here, looking at his daughter curled up on the couch, her theatric makeup smudged from tears she probably wiped away before Emily could see, the truth hit him like a gut punch.
His business had taken priority over his family. Again.
And this time, he wasn’t sure how to fix it.
Emily stood up, pushing the chair back with a quiet scrape against the floor. She shook her head, lips pressed tight as if biting back words she’d already said too many times before.
“I don’t know what else to say to you, Alex,” she whispered, stepping past him. “I’m tired of fighting for second place.”
Then she walked upstairs, leaving him standing alone in the dim light of the kitchen, staring at his daughter’s tear-streaked face.
And for the first time in years, Alex asked himself the question no driven leader wants to face: “What if I’m doing it all wrong?”
…………………………………………………………
That moment? It’s more common than you think.
I’ve heard versions of this story so many times—and lived parts of it myself. So here’s my ask of you:
👉 Have you ever had a moment where you realized your job or business or career owned you and that important people in your life were fighting for second place?
👉 How did you change directions once you were aware?
👉 What advice would you give to your fellow leaders, entrepreneurs, and business owners so that they can avoid this trap before it happens to them?
Drop your story in the comments. Your experience could be the encouragement someone else needs right now.
Let’s stop settling for second place in our own lives.
Let’s help each other soar. 🚀